Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Pick Up Your Butts!

When I lived in a downstairs apartment, I had some upstairs neighbors who would sit on their balcony and flick their cigarette butts over the rail where they would land in my back yard. I went upstairs and asked them to quit and the girls who were living there at the time told me it wasn't them, it was their friends. I told them to give their friends an ashtray because their butts were all over my yard. The next weekend, the same thing happened. I picked up all the butts (with rubber gloves), put them in a freezer bag and put them on their front doormat. This helped but, occasionally, there would still be a cigarette butt in my backyard. The sight of even one filter in my yard sent me into a twenty minute rant.

This experience gave me an obsessive aversion to cigarette butts. They are everywhere. People don't notice them unless there are an excessive amount, but look around. They're there. I want everyone to be as freaked out over this as me so I don't feel like such a lunatic.

I was walking into work this morning and there was a girl walking in front of me smoking a cigarette. As she finished her cigarette, she just flicked it on the ground! It took all of my willpower to keep myself from picking it up and shoving it in her ear.

Smokers, listen to me. Cigarette filters are trash. Throw them away. Because, if you don't dispose of them properly, you might one day find yourself attacked by an insane woman with fire in her eyes trying to shove your butt in your ear.


Fromage de Merde said...

Compulsive enough to admit it! Excellent! But maybe just a slight slap on back of the offending smokers head will do instead of the felony ensuing assault in the ear charge! Must have been the ‘1% Attakapa’ talk’in.

Laurie said...

I shall try the slap and tell the offender they can thank "Fromage de Merde" that they didn't get worse. I like the sound of that. Very continental.