Learning Bulgarian

We have some Bulgarian friends who taught my sister's kids gymnastics. Their dad was a coach in Bulgaria and, at some point, he moved his family to Texas. Our friends names are Radi, Anna (pronounced Ah-nuh) and Gala. They are beautiful, funny and brilliant. Anna recently moved to California and we sure do miss her. Radi, even with the initial language barrier, has earned a degree from Lamar College here in Beaumont. Gala is only 16 and she and her parents have recently moved away also. We still have Radi though.

When we first met the girls about 5 years ago, they hadn't been in the United States very long and their English could be difficult to understand at times. One evening we were at my sister Terry's house for a party. I think it was someone's birthday. It's always someone's birthday so we have a lot of parties. On this particular evening, several of us were sitting in the backyard asking Anna and Radi to teach us some Bulgarian words. Of course, we wanted to know all the dirty words.

Anna and Radi obligingly taught us every colorful term they knew. At one point, our friend Melissa was trying to repeat some Bulgarian phrase that Anna was trying to teach her. My sister, Terry, was giving Melissa a hard time and calling her a dumbass (in English) and various other derogatory terms insinuating that Melissa was mentally challenged (stupid).

Melissa turned to Anna and asked, "How do you say 'kiss my ass' in Bulgarian?"

Anna thought about it for a while and said, "Eestohod."

Melissa turned to Terry and said, in her best fake Texas/Bulgarian accent, "Eestohod!"

Anna started laughing hysterically and said, "No! Eestohod. Eestohod."

Melissa turns to Terry again and says, "Eeztohod!"

By this time, Anna is beside herself and spoke to Radi in Bulgarian hoping she could help her with poor Melissa's dirty Bulgarian/English lesson.

Radi, of course, immediately begins to laugh also and tells Melissa, "Anna is telling you it's too hard. She doesn't know how to say 'kiss my ass' in Bulgarian. It's too hard."