Can't You Smell That Smell? Lynyrd Skynyrd

As I was driving to work this morning, I found myself stopped at a traffic light behind a small construction company pickup truck with four Hispanic men riding in the cab. I noticed the driver look at me in the rear-view mirror and then the side mirror. He did this several times before alerting his cab mates that there was a hot chica behind them.

As you might have guessed, I’m quite fetching in the mornings when seen through a rear-view mirror, from a distance of 20 feet or so, with my Wayfarers on, baby. In response to the Chica Alert, the guy second from the right pulled down the visor on the passenger side and all three of the passengers glared at me through the mirror on the visor. Cool move, dudes.

Then, I noticed they all started laughing and looking at each other. My fragile self-esteem was crushed. A single tear rolled down my cheek as I gripped the steering wheel and softly wept. Actually, I didn't really start crying, but that was a lovely piece of writing, no? What I was really thinking was, “Fuck you, you idiot construction worker assholes.”

Then, the guy sitting beside the driver started waving his arms in the unmistakable fashion of someone trying to disperse a really nasty fart. As it turned out, they weren’t laughing at me at all. One of those guys had evidently cut a big one in the over-crowded cab of that little truck.

Thank, God. It seems that smelly construction workers still find me attractive...when seen through a rear-view mirror...from a distance of 20 feet or so. Yeah, at least I’ve got that going for me.