Saturday, April 29, 2006
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards fell out of a palm tree earlier this week on the island of Fiji and was treated for a mild concussion.
Of all the ways I would expect Keith Richards to injure himself, falling out of a palm tree, on Fiji, no less, wouldn't even be in the top one thousand. Number one would be some sort of accidental electricity mishap involving his guitar and a close second would be falling off a stage during the fifth bar of a rousing Satisfaction encore. Numbers three through ten would probably involve drugs and/or alcohol and the top twenty ways of Keith earning a trip to the ER would be rounded out by any multitude of well earned sexual, chemical, toxic or wardrobe related incidents.
Wouldn't you love to be the doctor who has to decide if there's any brain damage? To start with, the man is 62 years old and he was up a palm tree. Most people stop climbing trees much earlier than 62, let alone a tree with no branches. I think the bar is going to have to be set pretty low as far as the benchmark for when this guy is released back into the general population as back to normal. Normal for Keith Richards certainly has to fall into a medical category all its own.
Edited to add: Two additional bits of information are floating around this morning. The first is that Ron Wood was with him which begins to explain why he was up that tree in the first place.
"I fancy a coconut."
"Well, mate, why don't you just shimmy up that lovely coconut tree there and have a go at it?"
"I bet I can."
"I bet you can't."
The second bit of information, which I've only seen on blogs and not in an official news source, is that, after Keith was released from the hospital in New Zealand, he went back to Fiji and promptly got on a jet ski, had another accident and was taken back to the hospital. I bet Ron had something to do with that one, too.
"Double or nothin' on the jet ski over there?"
"You're on, mate."
Of course, to someone just passing by, this would all sound like...
"Djoijlfm oimn oinfoienalsi tha?"
"Ymoifem oji mate."