Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Laurie's Keyword Help

Below are some excerpts from the keyword analysis portion of my stat counter. Since people landed here by using these search terms and probably didn't find what they were looking for, I've decided to make up some answers so they'll find something the next time they end up in my little world. (All search terms are as they were found in my stat counter.)

Is it legal to use an I-Pod while driving in Louisiana?
Yes, but only if you've just driven through the drive-through daiquiri store and are trying to drink your daiquiri while talking on your cell phone and simultaneously lighting a cigarette.

hard rain fall what it means
It means God is mad at you .

small titty kitty
The jar your wife uses to collect small change which she tells you is for her boob job but is actually for her divorce lawyer.

river separating texas and louisiana
The Sabine River. There's an old joke that goes, "What separates Louisiana from heaven?" The answer is, "The Sabine River."

pictures of people duct tapped
Sorry, no pictures here of people either duct taped or duct tapped. I'll keep it in mind for a future post though.

signs man too clingy
He weeps when you leave for work, he weeps when you come home, he wants to wear matching shirts, he stares at you adoringly as you pluck your chin hairs.

pipe bomb pictures
No pipe bomb pictures here. Move along.

do you miss him
If you have to ask Google if you miss him, my guess is, no, you do not miss him.

tara's boob picture
Somewhere on this blog is a picture of Tara Reid with one of her boobs hanging out. Seriously. Good luck finding it. Enjoy the blog as you troll for Tara's boob.

just so you'll never know...
As long as I have Google, I will always know.


Susan in St. Paul said...

a guy painting your toe nails isn't too clingy, is he?

how about if he calls you from Europe each morning just to be your alarm clock?

Thanks for your help, Laurie!

Abby Taylor said...

This clears up so much confusion for me. Thanks for this public service.

Aisha said...

You are so bad!

Laurie said...

Susan - A guy painting a woman's toenails is sexy as hell. Calling from Europe to wake you up is nice but don't give him my number. Waking me up may not be clingy but it's always a bad idea.

Abby - Glad I could help.

Aisha - Why, yes I am. :)

Renee said...

Too damn funny. People look up some weird shit huh?!

Renee said...

Now I KNOW about the I-Pod! Thanks for clearing that up, Laurie! And I live here . . Geez

Laurie said...

Renee #1 - Today I had one that said "smelly people with big hats."

Renee #2 - Glad I could help. :)

Anonymous said...

Changing the subject, sort of. . .did you hear that the New Orleans Jazz Festival will go forth as scheduled thanks to Shell Oil who is pickup the tab??? Great News!!! Oh and on another matter. You know that Penny Lane Cosmic Crap, well I just noticed you had written "Penny Lane, Very Strange." I actually didn't have a clue what song you were referring to until I saw the "very strange." OMG -- sometimes I scare myself! xoxo Poodles

Word: xfurfa -- I kinda like that!

Laurie said...

Poodles - I did hear that about the Jazz Fest. I would love to go to that one day.

Don't be acting like you're too young to remember Penny Lane young lady.

Anonymous said...

No, you silly broad,I remember the song you know, the tune, daaa da da daaaaaaaa dadadadaaaa...there beneath the blue suburban skies...dadada...very strange...but I never understood what they were saying or what the name of the song was. See, I can be scary! Poodles

OldHorsetailSnake said...

That was pretty snotty. You could have AT LEAST put up some pix of pipe bombs...

Anonymous said...

making a shrine out of your used femine hygine products, too clingy. Calling you... love.

Laurie said...

Poodles - I gotcha.

Old Horsetail - Those FBI guys are pretty cute. Maybe I could do some taunting from my blog and get an interview.

Anonymous - Oh, my! That's a whole different category of clingy.

Susan in St. Paul said...

I don't know about FBI guys, but the secret service and CIA guys I have run into struck me as clingy among other things.

klxuqa-Kevin licks xeroxed undergarments quitely afterwards.

Laurie said...

Susan - Hahahah on the word thingy!

TaraMetBlog said...


according to my website trackers a lot of search engine hits to my blog are people looking for that photo of Tara Reid, damn her for ruining my name!

Laurie said...

Tara - I bet someone named Tara does get a lot of Tara Reid hits. That's funny.