Thursday, July 28, 2005
For those of you who don't have to punch a timeclock, each day has four punches: Morning (In), Lunch Hour (Out), Lunch Hour (In) and Afternoon (Out).
When I got to work Tuesday, I punched in and, as most people do, looked at what I had punched. Then, I looked again. It looked right because there were five punches but it also looked wrong. Where there should have been four (In, Out, In, Out) Monday punches and one (In) Tuesday punch, there were three Monday punches and two Tuesday punches.
How could I have punched in twice and not remember? Was the clock broken? Had I actually come to work thirty minutes earlier and had some sort of weird alien time loss thing and was punching in again because I had no memory of the first punch? If so, had I been anally probed?
What about the three punches from Monday instead of four? Why would I walk directly past the timeclock on my way out the door and not punch? Punching the clock becomes as automatic as sucking the lime after a shot of tequila. How could I forget?
I swear I stood there totally bewildered for a good thirty seconds staring at that time card with those three Monday punches and two Tuesday punches before I realized that two bizarre incidents had occurred to create my confusion at 8:00 a.m. (give or take 10 minutes) before my coffee. I had inexplicably forgotten to punch out Monday evening and someone else had punched in with my card instead of punching in with their own card Tuesday morning.
I still can't believe these people still pay me to work here.