Thursday, July 28, 2005

Punch Drunk

For those of you who don't have to punch a timeclock, each day has four punches: Morning (In), Lunch Hour (Out), Lunch Hour (In) and Afternoon (Out).

When I got to work Tuesday, I punched in and, as most people do, looked at what I had punched. Then, I looked again. It looked right because there were five punches but it also looked wrong. Where there should have been four (In, Out, In, Out) Monday punches and one (In) Tuesday punch, there were three Monday punches and two Tuesday punches.

How could I have punched in twice and not remember? Was the clock broken? Had I actually come to work thirty minutes earlier and had some sort of weird alien time loss thing and was punching in again because I had no memory of the first punch? If so, had I been anally probed?

What about the three punches from Monday instead of four? Why would I walk directly past the timeclock on my way out the door and not punch? Punching the clock becomes as automatic as sucking the lime after a shot of tequila. How could I forget?

I swear I stood there totally bewildered for a good thirty seconds staring at that time card with those three Monday punches and two Tuesday punches before I realized that two bizarre incidents had occurred to create my confusion at 8:00 a.m. (give or take 10 minutes) before my coffee. I had inexplicably forgotten to punch out Monday evening and someone else had punched in with my card instead of punching in with their own card Tuesday morning.

I still can't believe these people still pay me to work here.


Jack said...


Laurie said...

Wang - A Man of Few Words.

Ed Abbey said...

I used to work at a place with 10,000 people so we just had badges that got swiped. Another place I worked had twelve people so nobody bothered. Now where I work which is on the low side of in-between the last two, nobody cares so I just come in. I like this place the best.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I think you're on to something here, Laurie. See, don't punch out in the afternoon -- they'll think you worked all night and you get overtime.

You DID figure that out, didn't you? No?

Larry Jones said...

I detest those clocks. I do the work of 2.5 people in 60% of the time. I don't need to prove I was at work.

Also, why do aliens always want to probe our asses? I was a little itchy when I woke up this morning. I'll bet the little bastards got me again, and then erased my memory.

cousin susan said...

You should be the one to figure out
the cards. I do the time cards at
work for everyone to get paid.
Sometimes it is easy and other times I had like to pull all my hair out.

Lorna said...

I really didn't know that punch cards were still being used. It shocks me. But then, I'm not business-oriented, and I worked for the Government for 22 years. Come to think of it, how come, after that, something can shock me?

Laurie said...

Ed - Sounds like a great job.

Old Horsetail - They think I stay here too long already. They probably wouldn't question it if I pulled an all-nighter.

Larry - What could they possibly want up there?

Cousin Susan - I'm so glad you finally left a comment!!! I knew you were reading (I see you on my stat counter). Sorry about this weekend. We never know what Stu and them are going to do or when they'll be here until they get here!

Lorna - I actually like timeclocks. Everyone gets paid for exactly how much time they're here. No questions asked.

Comfort Addict said...

My company is lucky I don't punch a clock. If I did, they might have to pay me for all that extra time I work.

Laurie said...

Comfort Addict - That's why I like timeclocks. I've never understood why people don't like them. I like getting paid for every minute I work.

Larry Jones said...

Here's why I don't like 'em: I have tasks to get done, and I get 'em done. I want to be paid for that, not for just being physically present. When my tasks are handled, I might want to be somewhere else, but I think I should still get paid, because I completed my work.

If my employer doesn't trust me, they should fire me and get someone they do, not use a machine to track my whereabouts.

Laurie said...

Larry - In my line of work, the output is pretty much constant all day rather than on a per project basis. I see what you're saying.

Sudiegirl said...

This is why I think punch clocks should be abolished. It's much easier to enter your time online, you know?


Laurie said...

Ah, yes. But, people can't be trusted.