Thursday, July 14, 2005

I'll Take A Couple Bottles of That

The talk of the lunchroom today was about a woman in a quiet neighborhood here in Beaumont who was attacked at 10:00 a.m. Sunday morning in broad daylight by a man she caught in her backyard trying to start her riding lawnmower. When the woman went into her backyard to confront the man, he tried to sexually assault her.

"That's just crazy," said co-worker 1.

"It was the middle of the morning. He must have been on drugs," added co-worker 2.

"What kind of a drug would someone take that would make them want to cut grass and have sex?" I asked.


"Wait a minute," I said, "If there's a drug that would make my next husband want to cut grass and have sex. I want some of that."

Co-worker 1 said, "I'm going to pull my husband's riding lawnmower into the front yard and see if I can get any takers."


"Hell," co-worker 1 continued, "My husband would probably drive it out there for me. 'There you go, Susie. Knock yourself out'."


Ed Abbey said...

Is there also a version of the drug that females could take? If a female came up to me on a hot summer day like today and offered to either mow my lawn or have sex with me, I would probably have to think about it for awhile.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Now that we're all properly amused, what happened to the lady who got attacked?

(Not all of us subscribe to the Texas newspapers, you see.)

se7en said...

LOL that's hilarious!!

thanks for the laugh!! ( ireally needed it!)


Laurie said...

Ed - That's hilarious! I hadn't thought of it from the man's point of view.

Old Horsetail - The lady is fine. She hollered for help and the neighbors scared the guy away. I think he's still on the loose though.

Se7en - You are quite welcome!