Sunday, August 26, 2007

Cue the Porno Flick Music

Yesterday, I hosted a Beauti Control Spa Escape at my house. As the party was wrapping up, I heard a quiet knock at my front door. I opened the door and there stood a really cute guy in gym shorts and no shirt.

"Uh, hello," I said.

"I really hate to bother you but do you know Bill he lives across the street there and I'm his roommate and I was jumping rope outside and I locked myself out and I asked the other lady who was just leaving here if I could use her phone and she said she doesn't live here and I guess she thought I might be dangerous or something since I'm standing here on your patio Oh My God standing here on your patio all sweaty with no shirt on but I swear I'm not a murderer or anything and I locked myself out and I have to go to work at 7:00 and my roommate is at work he's a nurse at Baptist Hospital and if you have a phone and a phonebook my numbers are all in my cell phone that would really be great because I don't know what to do I'm sorry I'm not wearing a shirt or anything Oh My God."

He said all of this in one breath while holding his hands across his chest as though I was looking at his, well, chest. Of course, I was looking at his chest. It's not every day that a good looking young man shows up on your patio without a shirt as though dropped from the stars by the Good Looking Young Guy Fairy.

Since I had a house full of people, I went ahead and let him in. When his first phone call was to his mother (who lives all the way in northeast Arkansas, by the way), I knew we probably weren't in any danger.

"Mom? Yeah, I locked myself out of the house and I have to go to work and Bill is at work...no, there isn't a back door...no, all the windows are locked...it's a patio door with one of those bar things on it so people can't break in...I don't have his work number because it's on my cell phone which is also locked in the house...well, I'm in this nice lady's house across the street who let me in even though I'm not wearing a shirt Oh My God and they're having some sort of meeting or something...What ARE you guys doing?...oh, they're having some sort of spa party or something...yeah, if you could give me Aaron's number maybe he could come get me and bring me to get the key from Bill...thanks...I love you, too."

Aw, sweet.

He called Aaron who we surmised was his brother, but Aaron couldn't come and get him. As the poor thing rummaged through the phone book looking for people to call to bring him to get a key, one of my guests graciously offered to give cutie-pie a ride. Wasn't that nice of her?

At that point, I went upstairs and found a t-shirt for him to wear. Yes, I realize that he had been in my house at least fifteen minutes before I offered him a shirt. Like I said before, it's not every day that a good looking young man shows up on your patio without a shirt as though dropped from the stars by the Good Looking Young Guy Fairy, and I was going to make the most of it.

When he left, I told everybody, "This is the kind of things that my blogger friends say 'would only happen to Laurie.' I'm glad I have witnesses because I'm not sure anybody would have believed this one."

14 comments:

Lorna said...

How did you get hold of the CYGFairy and are you sure those are in the right order?

Laurie said...

Dearest Lorna - My blog, my fantasy, my cute STRAIGHT young guy neighbor. Let's make that neighborS even though I haven't seen the other one, yet.

Susan in St. Paul said...

What? no pictures? Laurie!!!

Lorna-He sounds straight, hot looking gay guys usually don't get embarrassed by being shirtless among a bunch of women.

Larry Jones said...

I'm really surprised you're not posting the pictures you took of him. You know, the group shot with everybody, and the one with just the two of you, holding margaritas.

Laurie said...

Susan - I'm afraid a pic would have been more than the poor boy could bear. I do still have to live across the street from him.

Larry - All of those images are safely tucked away in the windmills of my mind.

Jen T. (soon to be E.) said...

Laurie - we are so having a party when I come for a visit. Do you think we could arrange for Aaron or Bill to lock the cute jump roper out of his house again???

Jen T. (soon to be E.) said...

And, oh, I believe every story of yours. Why shouldn't I after the Black Cat adventure? Hahahaa! ;)

Laurie said...

Jen #1 - Aaron was the jumproping guy and he seemed like the type who will be locking himself out a lot. I think I'll offer to keep a key over here for them. :)

Jen #2 - Hahahaha! What a great night. I am just a porn flick waiting to happen, aren't I? You would think I'd get more...um..."action."

Gnightgirl said...

What? You didn't just chain him to the table leg?! You should have kept him.

Laurie said...

Gnight Girl - I did want to keep him, but, truth be told, not in the way I'm insinuating. That's just for laughs.

I wanted to take care of him since his mom is in Arkansas and my son is in Houston. Sounds like a fair trade, don't you think?

I know you can relate. :)

Grimm said...

So that is the G-rated version. Now tell us what REALLY happened.

Bow-chica-bow-bow...

Laurie said...

Grimm - In my mind or in reality?

Laura said...

What a great "only in Laurie's life" story!

Laurie said...

Laura - :)