Wednesday, March 14, 2007

One of These Days

One of these days I’m going to run away to the French Quarter. When I get there, I’m going to, ever so gently, knock the lady on the head who takes the money and issues the tickets for the wax museum on Conti Street. She has my job and that’s just not right. She can keep it until I get there, but then it’s mine.

After I knock her gently on the head rendering her still capable of living a full and wonderful life, yet, incapable of standing behind that counter, reading books and trashy tabloids all day and issuing the occasional wax museum admission ticket, I will take my rightful place behind the counter reading books and trashy tabloids all day and issuing the occasional wax museum admission ticket.

Don't worry. I know exactly where to hit her. I Googled it.

12 comments:

Jen T. (soon to be E.) said...

Haha. :)

La Sirena said...

Cool, Laurie! We can meet for hurricanes every week, because my perfect job is giving tours of the Voodoo Museum and St. Louis Cemetery #1... making the occasional gris-gris bag for the tourists and whatnot.

neil said...

Hitting someone is so unsophisticated, besides you might break a nail. How about slipping her a few margaritas...she would still have a full and wonderful life but be uncapable of work. After a few drinks you could send her to talk to the wax people, then slip right in to her spot. Peace, man.

Leslie said...

Laurie, you are so funny.

Lorna said...

I felt the same way about people I saw working on the ferries in BC---please send the googled instructions.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Ain't there no jobs where you can sit down to do it?

TexasGal said...

My perfect job would walking down the beach every morning at some resort in the Carribbean picking up the coconuts that fell onto the beach over night so the bars can use them to make drinks out of them. Anything to do with the Carribbean, the beach, the sun, the surf...

Serena Joy said...

I might get a little creeped out working at the Wax Museum but, like La Sirena, I'd love to work at the Voodoo Museum.

Laurie said...

Jen - :)

La Sirena - That would be fabulous but why only once a week on the Hurricanes? I'm thinking every evening should be about right.

Neil - What a fabulous idea. Now I just need to figure out how to forge her signature so I can cash her paycheck.

Leslie - Funny? Who's being funny? I'm serious! :)

Lorna - They're on their way!

Old Horsetail - Note to self: buy a stool.

Texas Gal - Now, there's another good idea.

Serena - Let's do it! Hurricanes nightly!

La Sirena said...

Yay!!! New Orleans, Voodoo, Hurricanes and Daily Drinking Buddies...I'm so in love with my brand new life!

PS -- Laurie, did you notice that my sister invited you to come to Chicago and hang out with us at Blogher this summer on one of my comments sections?

Grimm said...

I can't wait for you to post the Googled instructions for the head shot.

I want illustrations too. I don't want no stick figures either.

Laurie said...

La Sirena - Doesn't it sound fabulous?! I'm going to go back and check your comments. I've never been to Chicago. :)

Grimm - I'll start practicing drawing assault victims right away.