I am eating a piece of leftover birthday cake that someone left in the break room. I don't know who brought the cake to the office. I don't know whose birthday it was. I don't give a shit. I will eat anything that anyone leaves in the kitchen on the anybody-can-eat-this table.
One day, I'm going to accidentally eat cat food off of that table. Maybe that will cure my random grazing.
Hmmmm, that bite tasted like candle.