Monday, May 14, 2007

Don't Wait for Me


Please, I beg you, don't wait for me.

Every morning, some nice person will stop and wait for me to cross the street from my parking lot to my building. Every evening some other nice person will wait for me to go back across that same street. Several times a day, people will invariably hold the elevator for me as I'm walking toward it.

Please, don't wait for me. I didn't ask you to wait for me. I didn't blindly walk into the street so you would stop and let me pass. Please, move along.

To those of you who don't live in a place where people are so nice and considerate, I know you must think this is a strange request. However, for every nice person who waits for me, there are people in the car behind that nice person or standing in the elevator behind that nice person shooting daggers at me with their eyes.

Honest, really, don't wait for me.

I see your eyes, car people. Don't deny it. You're thinking, "What the fuck is that car in front of me stopping for?! Oh, goddamn it, drive already!! Oh, now I see. That silly woman couldn't wait five seconds to let us drive past. Walk, already you silly woman!"

The elevator people are watching me thinking, "Catch the next elevator, you silly woman! We're late! Why should we wait for you? Somebody let the elevator door close on her spoiled silly ass! She couldn't wait two minutes for the next elevator?!"

Oh, yes.

I see your mean eyes.

9 comments:

La Sirena said...

Hahahaha!!!

I am totally the dagger eyes in the car behind. My son claims I have NO patience when I drive.

(OK -- he's right.)

Jen T. (soon to be E.) said...

Sometimes I pretend to be trying to hold the elevator for people, but really I'm pressing the "Doors Close" button really fast.

I DO yield to pedestrians, however.

Laurie said...

La Sirena - I don't blame you. I'm much meaner behind the wheel than I am in person.

Jen- Hahaha! I don't even try because I always push the wrong button anyway.

TexasGal said...

ok..come here and you will miss people holding the elevator...I promise. They get on the elevator in herds and don't wait for the other people to exit first either. I plow right over them now when I get off and usually have some smart ass remark too as I exit. You could be the first one waiting to get on, but unless you are one of the ones that get on before the others get off, you'll be the last one on. What's even worse, they don't know any better. They get confused if you try to be polite and do things the way we are accustomed to back home.

laura1814 said...

I love "In Laurie's Brain" posts.

Leslie said...

I prefer for people NOT to wait on me, too. I avoid eye contact, pretend I'm fixing my shoe or something just so they'll move along. I don't like all that pressure.

Laurie said...

Texas Gal - Oh, my God! That sounds like a nightmare! (For those of you who don't know, Texas Gal is in Singapore.)

Laura - Oh, that's nice!

Leslie - That's it exactly. The pressure!!

Grimm said...

People actually say things like 'silly woman' down there?

I would have thought they would have alot better names for you. LoL

Laurie said...

Grimm - I cleaned it up for my more sensitive readers. ;)