Every year for Administrative-Professionals-We're-Intellectually-Superior-To-Our-Bosses Day, our office invites in a few masseuses to masseuse us. We get the 20-minute chair variety and, as anyone who sits at a computer all day and half the night knows, a 20-minute chair massage is divine.
This year, APWISTOB Day was on the Wednesday of the week I got back from vacation. I told my appointed masseuse that I was desperately in need of my 20 minutes because my back had been killing me since I got back from vacation.
"When did you get back from vacation," she asked.
"Monday," I said.
As she worked on the knots in my shoulders she suddenly blurted, "You did this to yourself in two days?!"
Since that day, I vowed to get a professional one hour massage at least once a month. Five months later, I actually made good on my vow. I'm not very good with vowing, especially when I'm vowing to myself and it involves spending money.
Tonight was my second monthly massage or as I like to call it, "What The Hell Is She Doing Back There Day." "We" decided that I needed some work on my sinuses and some deep tissue...scratch that...A LOT of deep tissue work on my left shoulder.
Boys and girls, let me tell you, that woman bent me into positions I haven't been in since Spring Break 1976. At one point, I swear to you, I was as flat as the Coyote whenever he gets run over by that steamroller thingy.
After she finished the front-end alignment of my shoulders, she eventually made her way to my sinuses. Sinus work by a masseuse is not for the weak hearted. She somehow managed to invade my sinus cavities by going through my jawbone.
As I sit here, hunched over this keyboard rekinking my shoulders and restuffing my sinuses with the dust on this computer desk, I ask myself, "Was it worth it?" I think it must have been. Surely, something so painful has to be good for you, right?
I do feel more bendy, my head does feel a couple of pounds lighter and some of my cellulite had to have been squashed into oblivion in the whole pummeling process. Hell, that's worth a couple bucks, right there.