Sunday, September 11, 2005
I don't think it's too early to start making nominations for Asshole of the Year. So, here's my worthy candidate.
We've all been in a parking lot driving around looking for a parking space. On occasion, as soon as you pass up a parked car in a parking space, the owner of the car walks up to the car to leave. If someone is behind you in the parking lot, it's tempting to make that person back up so you can have the parking space, especially if you've been driving around the lot for a while. It's tempting but normal people just keep driving and curse the luck.
One evening several months ago at Crockett Street, I was driving around looking for a parking space. Keep in mind I was a woman, at night, driving around looking for a parking spot. I had driven around about four times when I saw someone walking to their car. I sat and waited and, sure enough, they got into a car in a space right beside me so I backed up and waited for them to leave.
As I was sitting there, I noticed a guy in a big black pickup truck which HAD ALREADY TURNED THE CORNER at the end of the parking lot turn around and look at me and begin to back up. I thought, "Oh, no he isn't." But, oh, yes, he was. He backed up the whole half length of the parking lot and hit the front of my car.
You might ask, "Why didn't you back up so he wouldn't hit you?" I didn't back up because I knew the asshole saw me and I thought he was just going to back up and see if he could make me back up and give him the space. I couldn't believe that a man would force a woman to back up in a dark parking lot to give him a parking space especially after he had already driven so far past the space.
There were a few people in the parking lot so I felt safe getting out of my car to confront the son-of-a-bitch. When I got out of my car, he actually looked at me and said, "I thought you were going to back up." Asshole Point Number 1: He definitely saw me. Then, he said, "That's a new truck." Asshole Point Number 2: Who gives a fuck?! YOU HIT ME!
I looked at him and said, "New truck?! This is a new car!!! YOU hit ME!" He backed off and said, "Do you want my insurance?" (No, asshole, I want your mamma's crabcake recipe.) I glared at him with my best Don't-Fuck-With-Me-Stare (of which some of you are familiar) and he meekly walked back to his truck and got his insurance information. I followed him to his truck and noticed there was a woman in the front seat of the truck. She wouldn't even look at me. I would love to know what happened to that date. I wanted so bad to say something to her about the prick she was with but I knew that if she was married or dating this asswipe, she had enough problems.
He asked for my insurance information and I, basically, told him to kiss my ass because I wasn't about to let him pin this on me by saying I had hit him since all of the witnesses had scattered to the four winds. He, once again, backed off and his insurance company took care of everything and my car was repaired within two days.
If you've encountered an asshole this year that can top this one, you have my deepest sympathies.