Monday, June 08, 2009

Things I Saw at the Grocery Store Today

Sometimes, everything goes wrong in the grocery store. Sometimes Kroger is full of wonder and delight.

First, I shopped for birthday cards with a total stranger as we shared the dilemma of choosing the perfect card that wasn't too sickeningly sweet, yet didn't have male strippers or the word SEX typed in 76 point Helvetica on the cover.

Then I saw a display selling "Chlorine Free" diapers. This is a new one on me. I think it's a clever marketing ploy though. Companies should start selling all their products by stating the absolutely true fact that they don't contain dangerous substances which they never contained in the first place:

Arsenic free M&Ms? Yes!
Battery acid free oranges? Of course!
Toe-jam free spaghetti sauce? Aisle 13.

One of the best things I saw is the hardest to describe. I was walking toward a lady who was pushing her buggy and had evidently just gotten a cell phone call. She reached in her purse, grabbed her cell phone, looked at the caller ID and made the most aggravated, annoyed, pissed off face I've ever seen. Then, she answered the phone in a totally normal unpissed off tone. So, if you called someone today at about 5:26 p.m. and they said they were grocery shopping, that person is really, really, really mad at you for some reason.

The cutest thing I saw was a little girl sitting in one of these shopping carts driving with both wheels. Every time she saw me she looked at me with this mischievous face that said, if she really had control over that car, she'd flatten me like a bug. It reminded me of this classic video:


Steve said...

So, are Clorox Wipes and Baby Wipes not intended to be interchangeable? I've smelled stuff that no Baby Wipe was ever gonna take care of. The more chlorine in diapers the better!

Rebecca Hickman said...

You always make me laugh.

Leslie said...

Gosh, you are funny.