I got a job! Thank you for all of your support and prayers. Your faith in me and my faith in God's plan carried me through a very long cold January.
Now, I just have to go through orientation, take a safety course and pass a drug test. I have no reason in the world to think I won't pass the drug test, yet the Elaine and the poppy seed muffin Seinfeld episode keeps going through my head.
Peterman: I'm afraid I have some bad news, Elaine. It appears you will not be accompanying me to Africa.
Elaine: What? Why not?
Peterman: I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You tested positive for opium.
Peterman: That's right, Elaine. White lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally.
My drug of choice for the last month has been large quantities of Blue Bell ice cream. That doesn't show up in a urine test does it?