Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Cholesterol? I don't need no stinkin' cholesterol!

I went to the doctor today for my quarterly cholesterol checkup and I'm finally motivated to change my evil ways and lower my cholesteral through diet and exercise. What were the motivating factors you ask? Were your numbers frighteningly high? Is your liver enzyme count out of whack?

No. My motivation was spending three hours in the doctors office for five minutes of blood work and ten minutes of doctor time and two hours and forty-five minutes of old magazines and small talk with a "Landman" from Winnie all while being starved from fasting and needing to pee but too afraid I'd miss my turn in the lab if I went to the bathroom.

I won't even talk about the money. Oh, the money. The horror. I should demand they deduct my lost wages for sitting around inhaling germ filled doctor office fumes from the cost of my appointment.

From now on it's running, oatmeal and vegetables. You win, you evil, clever doctor office. You win.


Lorna said...

Oh, move to Canada---my doctor costs nothing and my cholesterol-lowering medication costs me $4.44 a month. Of course, I do pay income tax in the 40%-plus bracket. but my doctor speaks 3 languages, two of which I understand

Laurie said...

Lorna - I'm with you on that! Somebody in the doctor's office made a comment about socialized medicine and I told them, I wouldn't mind the wait if it was free.