Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Reasons I Will Never Go Hunting

  1. It's always too damn cold.

  2. Have to get up too damn early.

  3. Deer stands are too damn high in the air.

  4. Duck blinds are IN the water and usually infested with red ants, nutria rats and snakes.

  5. It's too damn boring.

  6. There are no people.

  7. There are no bars.

  8. There are no restaurants.

  9. There are no casinos.

  10. The goal is to kill things.

  11. Wildlife, in general, freaks me out.

  12. Guns freak me out.

Did you know what the picture above was? It's a deer feeder. It's not only a deer feeder, it's an automated deer feeder. Several years ago, I heard some guys talking about their deer feeders.

"Wait a minute," I said. "Let me get this straight. You feed the deer all year long. Then you go out there during hunting season, after the poor momma deer and daddy deer and baby deer have been eating your corn or whatever all year, and then you shoot them?"

Not very sportsmanlike, if you ask me. That would be like a tribe of cannibals running the Golden Corral.

7 comments:

Grimm said...

LMAO at the Golden Corral comparison. Sick, but dead on.

I was one of the few in my family to never really get into the hunting craze.

Larry Jones said...

After a year of trying to eat out of those things, I'd probably be begging them to shoot me, too.

Just a Plane Ride Away said...

Why are the feeders by the side of the road?!

I've never understood the feed and shoot thing either.

Anonymous said...

Luv the Golden Corral analogy. I agree that feeding the deer all year long and then shooting them one day when they show up for their expected meal is mean, and cruel, and unfair.

Rebecca Hickman said...

Hunting isn't for me, either. However, I do think it is more humane than the slaughterhouse. I recently watched a documentary about turkey farms, and it just broke my heart. The poor things are kept in boxes for most of their lives. At least animals in the wilderness get to live full lives, and they are not tortured. A bullet isn't that bad a way to go.

Queen of the Universe said...

My number one reason to not go would be the lack of proper toilet facilities out in the woods.

Laurie said...

Grimm - My brother and dad aren't hunters either. Maybe that's why I don't get it.

Larry - They're actually run on batteries or something and spit the corn out.

Just - I guess they're beside the road, so the hunter doesn't even have to go into the woods.

Anonymous - I know!

Rebecca - I never thought about that. I tend to not put a face to my dinner. I could never be a vegetarian, but I could never kill an animal myself.

Queen - That, too.