So I Could Easily Find It. Of Course.

Part 1
One morning a couple weeks ago, I moved a candle from the island in my kitchen to my dining room table which is about five paces away from the kitchen island. Later that day, when I wanted to light the candle, I couldn’t find it. I looked all over the house, in every cabinet, on every shelf. When my daughter-in-law arrived, I went to put something on my kitchen table so I could grab my grand-fabulous-daughter and, by God, there was that damn candle.

Part 2
Yesterday, I wanted to light a candle upstairs, but couldn’t remember where I had put my upstairs butane candle lighter thingy. I searched every drawer, every cabinet and couldn’t find it anywhere. I went downstairs, got my downstairs candle lighter thingy, walked back upstairs, lit the candle, went straight to a drawer in my upstairs junk closet to put the candle lighter thingy away and, by God, there was that other damn candle lighter thingy. At least, I’m consistent for, surely, there will be five or six candle lighter thingies in that drawer before the year is out.

Part 3
When my mom, sisters and I went to the casino for Mother’s Day, I changed purses to one of my little casino purses. After lunch, I reached into the teeny tiny little purse searching for my lipstick. I reached, grabbed, searched, felt around in that teeny tiny little purse and couldn’t feel the lipstick. So, I pulled everything out onto the table (brush, eye drops, sunglasses, keys, compact) and there was no lipstick. “Oh, well,” I said, “I must have forgotten to put lipstick in when I changed purses.” I then unzipped the zipper where I had so carefully put my cash and debit card and, by God, there was that damn lipstick. I had put it where I could easily find it. Of course.