Thursday, May 08, 2008

VIP Massage: You have the right to remain silent...and put some clothes on, for God's sake

This morning’s paper had a headline that a couple of massage parlors in town were busted yesterday for doing that little something extra that gets massage parlors busted. When I read the headline, I wondered, “Is that the massage parlor I pass by every day?” Yep, that would be the one.

The location used to be a high end resale shop where I bought a lot of my fashionable previously-worn-by-rich-ladies wardrobe. I was disappointed to see the resale shop close, but excited to see a massage parlor open in the location. It’s not only close to my house, it’s right across the street from my gym.

As I watched the progress of the remodeling, however, I became a little suspicious. The hand-written “VIP Massage” sign was a dead giveaway that image and sanitation probably weren’t high on their list of priorities. I’m happy to inform you that my fear of getting a nasty staph infection probably kept me from getting busted for suspicion of giving and/or receiving “happy endings” massages. Obsessive compulsive paranoia can be a good thing.

(By the way, the fact that I haven’t posted in the last couple of days has nothing to do with the bust of “VIP Massage.” However, if you need “a massage” really bad, just call my cell and ask for LuLu. I’ll be sure she gets the massage…I mean message.)


George said...

LuLu = ooh la la ;-)

jen said...

You are my favorite cracked up friend. :)

Laurie said...

George - ;) to you, too.

Jen - And you mine. :)

Susan in St. Paul said...

Well Laurie, you being you, of course it would be the one you'd pass by every day, lol!

Until last week, I only heard the term "happy ending" from another Beaumont resident, then I heard it on "King of the Hill" and now here. Is it a Texas term?

I always had the impression that some massage parlors were covers for prostitution but I didn't know that term and I didn't know it meant a massage with a hand job finish until quite recently. I just thought they were full service brothels that offered everything, lol!

If I were running a sex massage parlor sanitation would be top on my list! Staph infections would not be my highest worry though, unless we were offerring manicures and pedicures too! "Happy endings" while the polish dries? Restraints would help keep from smudging it. ;-)

Are there still those Chinese massage guys at the mall? They weren't bad.

Was the resale shop one of the stores we went to when I was there last year?

monkey see said...

Wow. I certainly wasn't expecting to see someone use the phrase 'handjob' in your comments, Lulu, er, Laurie.

Where one parlor shuts down, another will spring forth. Our local economy will once again be... um, stimulated. In the interim, I'm sure there will be no shortage of johns in Beaumont that are left to make their own happy endings.

Laurie said...

Susan - I'm pretty sure it's not a Texas term and I don't think that it exclusively refers to HJs. Never really thought about that though.

I think the Chinese guys at the mall have moved on.

Not the same resale shops. Those were by my office,not by my house.

Monkey See - Hahahaha!! You are a clever monkey. :)

Susan in St. Paul said...

LOL! I only know what clever little monkeys tell me!

another question, do these women do their massages in the nude? or did they actually arrest the clients too?

Somehow I can't bring myself to call the clients "Johns" today.

Laurie said...

Susan - According to the newspaper, there were no Johns there when the places were raided. They only arrested one woman at each place and did not arrest all of the masseuses.

The police were working on tips from other legitimate massage parlors in the area, because some of their clients (Johns) were asking for some of the "services" they were getting at the two busted massage parlors.