Saturday, May 31, 2008

Thoughts On the Day

  • If you unknowingly drop your contact lens on the bathroom counter instead of into your contact lens case and don't notice it until about three hours later when you look at the counter and say, "What the hell is that?", if you drop the lens back into your contact lens case, it will rehydrate and you can wear it for another week. (Don't try this at home.)

  • I love this stuff...

  • If you put your Listerine Whitening Strips on backwards, trying to get the pieces of strip off your lip is like trying to get gum out of your hair and trying to spread the rest of it on your teeth is like trying to spread too little pizza dough onto too large of a pan.

  • Have you seen the car commercials where the incentive for you to buy their vehicle is that they will guarantee that you won't pay more than $2.99 a gallon for gas over the next three years? When did paying $2.99 a gallon for gas become an incentive?

  • When I was driving to work yesterday, I was stopped by Papa John's waiting for traffic to pass so I could merge. It's a weird little piece of road where you have to crane your neck to watch for traffic, so I always use my side mirror to watch for a point when I can make my move. As I was waiting, I was trying to read the reversed Papa John's marquee through the mirror. In what seemed like a warp in the space-time continuum, in which time slowed down, I read each word on the marquee while the person on the radio sang the same three words:

  • Song lyric: It's easy to (leave).
    Papa John's marquee: It's easy to (order).

    Maybe you had to be there.

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