Thursday, September 25, 2008

Is it the legs?


I lost a big patch of shingles on my roof in the storm. I don't have any leaks...yet. Luckily, we haven't had anymore rain since the hurricane and subsequent cool front a week ago and no rain is predicted for at least the next five days.

I have no idea when my homeowners' association will be able to come together to get the roof fixed, since our current president has no interest in being president. She took the position under duress with the assurance of our past president that "The odds of having another hurricane so soon after Rita are zero to none. You really won't have to do anything at all."

So, since I might be without shingles for a while, I signed up for the Corps of Engineers to put a blue tarp on top of my house in case the roof decides to spring a leak. When you ask the Corps of Engineers to put a tarp on your house, they give you a big pink letter which must be attached to the front of your house facing the street.

Since my front door is hidden behind my wooden fence, I had to figure out a way to attach the piece of paper to wood, keep it visible and keep it dry. I put the pink page in a Ziploc bag and taped the hell out of it to the fence with three different types of tape. The tape lasted a day before it started peeling away from the fence.

Today, I went out to the fence with a hammer and nails and began hammering the glob of Ziploc and tape to my fence. While I was hammering, I felt something on my leg and swatted at it without looking down. I assumed it was one of the canary sized mosquitoes Hurricane Ike blew in. When I felt it again, I looked down and saw a three inch long gecko crawling up my leg toward my nether regions.

Ordinarily, I would have freaked out and done the dance of the horrified. Instead, I reached down, swatted the slimy bastard and kept hammering. Hurricane Ike seems to have stifled my panic reflex.

Now, if the thing crawling up my leg had been a snake or even a worm, I would still be running with a fully functional panic reflex. As long as lizards, newts and geckos stay outside, they don't bother me. Snakes and worms, on the other hand, must be terminated with extreme prejudice.

The only difference I see between geckos and snakes are the legs or the lack thereof. So, why are snakes universally despised while geckos get television commercials? Must be the legs.

11 comments:

Just a Plane Ride Away said...

I do NOT do reptiles. I would definitely do the horrified dance along with some Mariah Carey style vocalization. Just ask my daughter.

I do admire your resourcefulness in putting up your "pink slip"! But WHY do you have to put it up in the first place?

Lorna said...

It's always the legs....I cite Born on the Fourth of July and Forrest Gump

Lorna said...

And Betty Grable.

Gnightgirl said...

I don't mind lizards, but I imagine I'd have had a heart attack to find one crawling on my actual self.

I've never encountered too many snakes, but am steeling myself for that with the future move to countryside. The spiders are just about to do me in as it is.

Laurie said...

Just - I guess the pink piece of paper is so they put the blue tarp in the correct house since so many houses have roof damage.

Lorna - Hahahaha!!!!

Gnight Girl - Ewwwww!!! Spiders!! Eight legs...there goes my theory.

ms. e said...

It's the fangs, I think.

Of course, I seem to be getting vampire obsessed lately (Halloween, TrueBlood, Twilight book series), so I guess that theory might need to be examined, too.

Leslie said...

Hurricane Ike was one bad motherfucker. He even got us in Ohio! We had tropical storm force winds that the news people said were remnants from Ike. I'd never experienced anything like it. And we just had "remnants" of the storm.

I'm glad you're okay. Dave and I thought about you while we were out of electricity and off-line.

Susan in St. Paul said...

Sorry about your shingles. Do you live in a Condo?

Cute lizard picture!

I don't mind Geckos or those anole things, in fact I really liked the lizards I saw in Beaumont.

Snakes are different, they eat animals. They aren't cute at all.
Didn't like those snakes I saw though even though it was through a window.
I would love to see your pink letter attached your fence, is it an "R?"

Hope they cover the roof soon, if not you know who to call...

Laurie said...

Ms. E - Hadn't thought about the fangs.

Leslie - Wow! That's amazing. Stupid Ike.

Susan - I wouldn't dream of putting Mr. Rooftop on my two story roof.

Susan in St. Paul said...

I like that, "Mr. Rooftop" LOL!

Laurie said...

Susan - :)