Then THAT happened...

I risk the wrath of my son, mother and every sibling, relative and friend I have to tell you the following story, because it's for your own good.

As I was driving down a deserted street near my house a short while ago, the car in front of me suddenly stopped and the rear door opened.  I reached for the shift to put my car in reverse, because I thought someone was going to get out of the car and attack me or shoot me or just generally freak me out in some way.  Instead of one of the above, a very large girl spilled out of the door and stumbled into the ditch beside the road.  Then, the car drove away.

W...T...F?

I drove a short way, turned onto my street and stopped.  I couldn't just let the girl lay in the ditch, could I?  Could I?  No, I couldn't.  Idiot.  What would a sensible person do?  A sensible person would go home, dial 911 and crouch behind her curtains peering into the evil darkness.  Not me.  I am not a sensible person.  I opened my car door and shouted to her, "Are you okay?"

The girl was making unintelligible grunting sounds which in my freaked out state of mind meant she had been kidnapped, beaten and dumped on the side of the road.  As I considered my next move, the car that had dumped the girl and driven away, came back.

My first thought was that the car came back to pick up the girl and that would be the end of that.  That first thought was erased when I saw that the people in the car had seen me.  As they turned onto my street, I got back into my car and tried to haul ass.

This is the part of the story where I risk the wrath of my family and friends to tell you a very important thing.  If bad people are following you, do not...I repeat...do not drive into your own fucking garage of the very  house in which you actually live.  Be a normal person and pull out your cell phone and calmly drive around as you dial 911 explaining to the police in a very calm voice that possible kidnapper-murderer-rapist-girl dumpers are following you around your neighborhood.

By the time I realized I had been a dumbass by turning into my very own driveway, one of the possible kidnapper-murderer-rapist-girl dumpers had gotten out of their car and was shouting at me.  Holy fuck.  I closed my garage door, ran in the house and dialed 911.

Dispatch told me there was a police car very close to me and that they would first go check on the girl and then come talk to me.  When the officer got to my house, he explained that they had found the girl and all the parties involved where I had last seen the girl, because the possible kidnapper-murderer-rapist-girl dumpers were there trying to get the very intoxicated girl back into the car before somebody called the police. 

I asked, "Are they going to come back to get me?"

The policeman said, "They're all too drunk to know where they are.  The woman in the ditch had been hitting her boyfriend in the car and when they stopped the vehicle to try to make her quit hitting him, she jumped out of the car and fell into the ditch."

I said, "So, they're not going to come get me?"

"No," he said.  "The woman was definitely the aggressor in this whole thing and is going to jail for public intoxication and the rest of them went on their way."

"So, they're not going to come get me?

"No," he repeated.  "They are not going to come get you."

So, here I am.  Safe and sound.  Typing a blog post.  My blogging friends will understand.  In the midst of my fear and panic and anger at myself for being the stupid girl we've all screamed at in every horror movie/ murder mystery we've ever seen, my main thought was, "This is going to make a great blog post."

Another Strange Nudge From Our Dad

My brother called me last night with an unbelievable story.  I told him to write it down and e-mail it to me.  This is my brother's story of his father's day message from dad...

"Back in the '70s, my Dad did a bit of traveling as Ronald McDonald. Thirty-five or so years ago, he came home from a trip and had an autograph he wanted to give me. The autograph was from Jethro Pugh. At that time, Jethro Pugh was a star defensive lineman for the Dallas Cowboys, "America’s Team" and my favorite team, still is. I took that autograph and proudly tacked it on the bulletin board in my bedroom. That autograph hung on my bedroom wall for 15 years or so.

A few weeks ago I had to plan a trip to New Orleans. I booked the trip myself. I normally use the corporate travel agency, but was given the chance to choose my own seat. I like sitting near the wing and by the window. However, on this flight the only seat I could choose in the area of the wing was a center seat, row 16 seat D.

After boarding the flight I saw a tall gentleman coming toward my row. He fell into the seat and said, “It's hell gettin’ old.” My reply? “Amen, brother.” We started having the usual airplane conversations. “Are you from New Orleans?” He said, “Nope, Dallas.” I asked, “Why were you in New Orleans?” He replied, “Airport retailing conference.” He continued, “I own a few shops in the Dallas airport.” Being cordial I asked which ones. He listed about four or five shops. The first he mentioned was Jethro Pugh’s.

My first thought was, no flippin’ way am I sitting on an airplane next to the same guy my dad sat next to nearly 40 years ago. So, I questioned him a bit more. I asked him how he got involved with Jethro Pugh. He told me that some friends convinced him that owning shops in the Dallas airport would be a good business investment. I then asked the big question: “What’s your name?” He, of course, replied, “Jethro Pugh.”

I shared my story with him about my dad and the autograph he had given him thirty or so years ago and he thought it was funny. “Small world,” he said. We talked about the Cowboys back in the “America’s Team” days and he told me that when the Cowboys traveled to New Orleans for two Super Bowls, coach Tom Landry would tell the players, “The French Quarter is off limits.”  Jethro Pugh seems to be a great guy and it was a joy meeting him.

Mr. Pugh also shared with me that he wasn't even supposed to be on my flight, but that he had left the conference early.  And, ended up on this particular flight...sitting next to me...next to my seat...a seat that I had personally picked weeks ago.

My thoughts, of course, are that dad set all this up. How else do you explain it? How could I end up sitting on a plane next to one of the greatest Dallas Cowboys that ever played the game and who my dad had also sat by forty years ago? Did I mention that it was two days after Fathers Day? Coincidence? Not in a million years.

God is great and thanks, Dad. You never cease to amaze us.

If you read this blog, you know about the photo that showed up in the Beaumont paper the day before Fathers Day.  It wasn't actually dad, but it sure looked like him. Can’t wait to see what’s next."

Stu also had this to add about some restaurants he ate at while in New Orleans...

"Coops Bar - on Decatur next to Margaritaville - Cajun/Creole - Some of the best I have ever had. And, I have had a lot. Allegedly, they are famous for their fried chicken.  However, I just don’t have the heart to pass up the Jambalaya Deluxe: tasso, shrimp, crawfish, chicken and sausage.

Stanley Café – northeast corner of Jackson Square across from St. Louis Cathedral. “Breaux Bridge Benedict” - you will never look at breakfast the same way again. French bread, boudin, poached egg and Hollandaise sauce…add a little Cajun Chef hot sauce….OMG. Can’t wait to get back."

You may or may not think this is weird...

I receive the Beaumont Enterprise online.  Today, Father's Day, I read Saturday's edition.  This is the picture that was on the front page of the Saturday Beaumont Enterprise.  To me, the guy hydrating in the top half of the article looks just like my dad...

This is a picture of my dad taken after he cut the grass one day shortly after it rained, because dad always had to do things right away and patience was not one of his virtues...

You might not see the resemblence, but I sure do.  Happy Father's day, dad, and thanks for the weird.  You know how much I love the weird.

Of course, there's some weird...

My cousin Lisa passed away yesterday and, of course, we had some strange experiences.

Lisa's mom, my Aunt Delores, "saw" her mother (our Grandma Elise who passed away when my mom was 16 years old) and she told Aunt Delores that she would be there to meet Lisa.  Grandma Elise had also told Aunt Delores shortly before my dad passed that she would be there to meet him.  She also told Aunt Delores that even though she had never met dad in life (my mom met dad after her mom had passed away), she knew him. 

My smoke alarm downstairs kept beeping Monday night, but I assumed it just needed the battery changed, which I did. Now, I have to wonder if it was spirit related since my smoke alarms always go off within a week or a few days before someone in the family passes.  I don't like it when my smoke alarms beep and I'm not burning toast.

Mom's internet wasn't working Tuesday (or maybe Wednesday), so she was sitting at her desk messing with other stuff. When she picked up her old "planner" to try to decide whether or not to throw it away, a piece of paper fell out with the words "Artie Zinck" on it. Artie is Lisa's dad who passed away several years ago.  Mom can't remember why or when she put the paper in her planner.

Last night, I was checking my DVR queue and found that my machine had recorded a movie yesterday morning called, "In God's Hands."  I have no recollection of setting my DVR to record that movie and have no idea why I would have wanted it.  Do DVRs sometimes randomly record things?  It's never happened to me before.

We love you, Lisa

Mom just called to let us know that our cousin Lisa passed away this evening. Lisa has had multiple sclerosis all of her adult life and she fought a brave battle and always had an amazing spirit. We love you Lisa. God bless you and Aunt Delores, Kathy and Mike and all of you who love her so much. Lisa, tell dad and Alan and Ray hello and happy Father's Day. Love you.

Kevin Costner Puts the Icing on My Cake

Remember my post about feeling caught in a 1950s horror movie?  As California trembles under tremblor after tremblor, leading man Kevin Costner has come to the rescue of big bad BP.  No really.  It's true.  My surreal-ality is complete.

Frampton Comes Alive...Again

Tonight (last night, actually), I saw Peter Frampton at the Isle of Capri casino in Lake Charles.  He was as energetic, talented and charismatic as ever.  His voice and guitar playing were everything I remembered from the last time I saw him in 1980 in Beaumont.  The show lasted a full two hours which included a twenty minute encore.  If he brings his tour anywhere near you, you should try to go.  His version of "Black Hole Sun" alone is worth the price of admission.

After the concert, we went to Crockett Street and caught Joe Mendoza and Smokin' Joe Soliz and their band (which is currently nameless, although the name might or might not be "The Joe Mendoza Blues Band") at The Hub on Crockett Street.  These guys are amazing and will be playing on the patio at Cafe Del Rio Friday, June 18, 2010.  You should go.  I'll save you a chair.

Like a Virgin

I love '80s music.  Madonna, Whitney Houston, Cyndi Lauper, Flock of Seagulls.  Love it.  Tonight I was in a bar and "Like a Virgin" came on.  I looked around and realized that a good portion of the people there weren't even born in the '80s.  That really flocks my seagulls.

Click here for tons if '80s videos.

This and That

First of all to my cousin Sandy who keeps up with the family through my blog, everybody is doing fine.  You need to get on Facebook  If you guys are on Facebook, e-mail me so we can find each other.  Mom is on there, too.

Second, the Beaumont Walmart has been completely remodeled and looks very nice...for a Walmart.  There are also many new grocery items to choose from.  I thought I probably looked like an idiot staring up at the names above my head on the signs at the ends of the aisles and wandering from one end of the store to the other until I noticed that everybody in the store had that "Children of the Corn" look on their faces.  I wasn't the only person completely confused by the new store layout.

Third, there was a fly in my office today...on the fifth floor.  How does a fly get to the fifth floor of a building?  Did he take the stairs?  Did he ride the elevator?  Am I crazy to still be thinking about this four hours after I left work?

I Think the Mayans Were Right

Every day I read something on CNN.com that makes me think I'm in the middle of a 1950s horror movie or speeding toward those Mayan priests' predicted end of the world...


Livermore, California (CNN) -- Scientists at a government lab here are trying to use the world's largest laser -- it's the size of three football fields -- to set off a nuclear reaction so intense that it will make a star bloom on the surface of the Earth."

Sure.  Why not?  What could possibly go wrong?


"Scientists at the J. Craig Venter Institute have created a synthetic cell that can survive and reproduce itself according to an artificial DNA sequence, promising designer genomes with which researchers can produce sophisticated artificial organisms."

Create new life forms.  That always turns out well.  Ask Dr. Moreau.


Then, there's the whole monster Blob of oil knocking on my southeast Texas back door.  As if The Blob weren't bad enough, the chemicals being used as dispersants to break up the oil don't give me a warm fuzzy feeling either. 

The latest kick in the head concerning The Blob?  Hurricane season starts next week.  CNN has this to say about that:  "Not only is it hard to track how contaminants would be redistributed by a hurricane, but it's also hard to predict how the slick would affect the storm..."  and this, "...other scientists say the storms could be stronger than usual because the black oil would heat the water faster and accelerate formation of hurricanes...."

Add an earthquake every other week, Korea going nuts all over itself, Jesse James, Kate Gosselin and Janet Jackson's weird hairdo last night on American Idol to all of the above and I'd say we've got trouble.  Big trouble.  Ray Harryhausen caliber trouble.

I hope somebody's out there looking for a King Kong to take care of all these Godzillas.

Beaumont Farmers Market Opening Day - Saturday, May 22, 2010

WHO: A group of people that love to garden, love the earth, want to buy local produce and want to eat healthy


WHAT: Beaumont Farmers Market


WHEN: Starting Saturday, May 22 nd, 8-11 AM, every Saturday until Sat. Oct. 30th

WHERE: Downtown Beaumont, College and Main, Beaumont Library, across from City Hall

WHY: Connect or Reconnect people to the earth, seed to table



Click here for the website. 

Click here for vendors (I'm not sure if this is a complete list or not).


Opening Day Special Events:

Mystery Shopper

Tomato Plant Give-a-way to first 50 kids (photographer will be on hand, I think the pictures are $5 each)

St. Mark's Vespers Acoustic Team

Jefferson County Master Gardener Information Table

Aaagggh...my thumb!

Tonight I had dinner with an old friend at a new restaurant.  This was my second time at Major League Grill and I can officially recommend it.  The food is a bit pricey, but not unreasonably so considering that all of the entrees and appetizers my friends and I have ordered have been truly fantastic.

We had a few drinks (64 beers on tap Saturday, 36 beers on tap tonight...not sure what that was all about...and 100 beers bottled...or something).  I had a margarita and a bananananana colada which were both terrific.

My friend had a beer called a Delirium Tremens which according to some guy who came up to our table is the "Best Beer in the World."  I said, "How do you know that?"  He said, "It was written on the box."  I told him that anybody can write anything on a box and he went away.  Nevertheless, it was one helluva beer (8.5% alcohol content and amazingly tasty), so this discovery required a trip to Spec's.

At Spec's a/k/a The Most Funnest Liquor Store in the World, the Delirium Tremens shelf was of course empty, being the "Best Beer in the World" and all, so my friend special ordered some.  I'm going to be keeping my eye on that shelf. 

I also saw a container of $500 a bottle tequila, tequila in a gun bottle, tequila in a rifle bottle and a bottle of Crystal Head Vodka which I had totally forgotten has something to do with Dan Aykroyd.

What does all this have to do with my thumb?  When I got home, I was very excited to find that my 3D glasses had come in.  Yes.  I actually ordered and paid for 3D glasses.  I'm tired of searching my entire house for the 3D glasses that I know are here somewhere, but I can never find during Super Bowls and MTV Movie awards and things like that, when they suddenly spring 3D events on me and I don't have the appropriate eyewear.

As I was opening the box of my 3D glasses treasures with my box cutter, I cut the sh*t out of my thumb.  Luckily, a margarita, bananananananan colada and part of a Delirum Tremens beer has dulled the pain and I seem to have stopped the bleeding.

Tomorrow is another day, Scarlet.  I'll worry about that thumb tomorrow.

Green Day and Dylan...((you're welcome))

Things You Should Do

You should go to Major League Grill in Beaumont.
(4430 Dowlen Road - near Steinmart, 409-898-7500)

You should go to The Hub on Crockett Street.
(My friend Andrew is now the manager.)

You should see Shawn Pittman if he is playing anywhere near you.

You should have friends like Patty and Doug and Art and Richard and family like mom and Terry and Dan and Bonnie and Katie and Chloe and Steve to hang out with.

You should be very jealous of me.

Terry and Chloe

Terry and Katie

Terry and Dan

Bonnie

Shawn Pittman

Laurie and Richard

Laurie and Art