Yesterday, a co-worker asked if I had a Sam's card. "Why, of course," says I.
"In fact," I said, "I'm running low on bubble gum, so I'll stop by tonight."
I supply bubble gum to everybody at the firm. It makes you smarter. Google it.
When I got to Sam's, I thought, "I don't need a basket. I'm only getting two things."
We all know where this is going.
When I got to the very back of the store, with my arms full of crap, I realized I had no more arms to carry the one thing I had actually gone to Sam's to buy. So, I marched myself all the way back to the front of the store, with every intent of stealing someone's empty basket while they weren't looking. I finally found an unattended basket in office supplies, unloaded my aching arms and headed back to the rear of the store for my friend's item.
Moral of the story: Never say "no" to the basket lady at Sam's.
My "must have" purchases:
- 1 big ass roasted chicken
- 1 Turbo Tax software
- 1 100 ml bottle of Olay Regenerist
- 48 Nutri-Grain bars
- 360 pieces of Dubble Bubble bubble gum
- 500 5 oz bathroom cups
- 120 Glad tall kitchen garbage bags
I bought 1,031 things. No wonder I needed a basket.