Draw...something

I'm disturbed at how many of my "Draw Something" pictures start out looking like some variation of a penis.

Magic Man?

I hate it when I've been standing waiting for an elevator and someone rushes up like they're so damn important and RE-pushes the elevator button and the damn elevator opens up like that person has some sort of magic powers. Screw you, elevator.

The Perfect Storm

Last night, I was stopped at a stop sign and two cars were traveling toward each other on the cross street in front of me.  They caught my eye, because they were both really zooming.  As they got closer, I noticed that one of them was a Domino's delivery dude and the other was a Papa John's delivery dude.  As they got even closer, I realized they were both turning onto my street and they were both determined to get onto my street first.

Luckily, Papa John's dude made it to the corner a wee bit faster than Domino's dude and all ended well.  I'm not disappointed that I didn't end up sandwiched between two pizza dudes, but I think it would have made for a really interesting accident report.

Happy Mardi Gras! Live cams!!

Live cameras from Bourbon Street and Jackson Square!

From the Cat's Meow, we have several views and you can zoom.  Check below the large image for additional views. (Formerly known as the Bourbocam.)

Click here.

From Jackson Square, watch the party from the comfort of your couch.

Click here.

Valentine's Day Quiz: What is neither a man nor a woman?

Our building laid out a lovely candy spread in the lobby this morning for Valentine's Day.  On the table, along with lots of candies of many sorts, was a pink paper with Valentine's Day "facts."  One of the facts was:

"73% of Valentine Day flowers are bought by men, whereas women buy only 23% of Valentine flowers."


Let's do the math

Lets assume for our calculations that the "flowers" are roses.  According to one website, 110 million roses will be bought for Valentine's Day.

73% + 23% = 96%

73% = men

23% = women

4% = ? (!)

4% of 110,000,000 roses = 440,000 roses

That gives us 36,666 dozen roses bought by people other than men and/or other than women.

Rounding up for flowers given on Valentine's Day which are not roses and rounding down for the showoffs who give more than one dozen roses to their amour, let's just say that 36,666 people who are neither men nor women are giving flowers to their significant other.

That seems like an awful lot of he/shes to me, even for The United States of America.  Does anyone have RuPaul's phone number, because I have some questions?

Tommy Jordan Video Dad is an Ass

I'm glad this idiot and his daughter made up (according to this update). Almost all of my friends and family think this guy did the right thing. I think his daughter is the way she is, because he is the way he is.

Serve him coffee? Mess up the floor she just cleaned and not apologize or, god forbid, clean it up yourself? Why is she making the bed in the guest room? Who slept there that they can't make up their own damn bed? Ground her for THREE months? He's an ass.

Teach her a lesson about the value of things by destroying a computer?

Her mistake was putting in writing the things that teenagers have said to their friends throughout eternity. I'm sure she'll turn out just fine and she'll raise her kids in the same obnoxious, domineering way that this guy raised her.

Whatever works for them, I guess. It seems to have all worked out fine...until the next outburst...from both of them.

Still Open for Business

In case anyone was wondering, this blog is still open for business.  It's just on hiatus for lack of dedication by its author.  Slacker.

Today's Ava-isms

In response to "how old are you?" to her Uncle Dan:  Wow!  That's a lot.

Telling a story about what we would do if she got hurt:  Y'all would be saying "Help me Jesus!  Help me Jesus" in her best Medea voice.

In response to meeting Nanny's friends:  Are they going to all get in my face?

At the fountain in Howell's:  "Wait.  What are you going to do?"

Driver's license:  Why do you have that mean look on your face.  Grandma has a funny looking picture in her wallet.  Show 'em grandma.

Second New Years Resolution

Drivers who cut in front of me even though there was nobody behind me and they could have waited 1.3 seconds to pull out after I passed and who then drive 10 m.p.h. slower than me shall be dealt with swiftly and with "extreme prejudice."  Patent pending.

First New Years Resolution

I resolve to mow down anyone attempting to enter an elevator before I have successfully exited said elevator.

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My Christmas Story Theme

As I sat and watched my son and daughter-in-law play Santa this Christmas Eve with "A Christmas Story" playing in the background,  I remembered that the first time I saw "A Christmas Story," my son Cory was four years old which is the same age that his daughter is now.  That was 27 years ago.  How the hell did that happen?

House on Skull Mountain

Back in the '70s growing up in Port Arthur, Texas, there was a movie theater that had about five screens and all movies cost $1 to see.  The screens weren't much bigger than today's home television sets with the largest being about one third the size of a normal movie theater screen.

Right now, I'm sitting on my couch in my very own living room watching the fabulously awful 1974 "House on Skull Mountain."  I'm watching it on a television set not much smaller than the smallest screen at the Golden Tri Cinema.  Weird.  These are exactly the kinds of movies we used to see there:  lots of Burt Reynolds, Bruce Lee and B-horror movies.

They also ran some mainstream movies there about a month after they left the real theaters.  There were always technical problems, bad film stock issues (the copies shown at the Golden Tri had already been viewed hundreds and hundreds of times by the time they made it there) and out of sync or non-existent sound.  Of course, with no cable television or VCRs back then, it was the only way to see a movie, if you didn't want to (or couldn't afford to) pay full price.

Hey, look!  It's Lionel Jefferson!

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MTV is 30 years old? When did that happen?

While conversing with friends on Facebook, it came to my attention that MTV is 30 years old this year.  I remember hearing about that, but I don't remember freaking out about it like I am right now.

It occurs to me that teenagers today might be thinking the music of 1981 is as ancient as we thought the music of 1941 was when we were teenagers.

Are they looking at Rod Stewart, Bananarama and Pat Benatar the same way we looked at Bing Crosby, The Andrews Sisters and Judy Garland?

December 21, 2011

We're one year away from Mayan-Hold-Onto-Your-Asses Day.  So, to paraphrase Prince, "Party like it's one more year until Mayan-Hold-Onto-Your-Asses Day."