- Several years ago while driving down Dowlen Road after a building boom of churches, I looked at another building being constructed and told my sister, "It's probably just another damn church."
- When I walked out of church a couple of weeks ago, I said a little too loudly, "Gotdammit, it's cold!"
- This one doesn't have cussing, but I'm sure I didn't gain any heavenly favor either. While looking at a free calendar I got from church with pictures of saints, I told my other sister, "This is a pretty calendar, but Ava trumps St. Jude." (My kids gave me a calendar for Christmas with different pictures of The Grand-Fabulous Ava on every page.)
When I was making notes for this post last week, I wrote the following cryptic phrase, "It's fucking Christmas Eve!" I think someone told me a funny family Christmas story and that was the punchline and now I can't remember the story. If you're reading this post and it's your story, help a senile young woman out and tell us the story in the comments. You can be anonymous, if you like. I won't tell God.