Tuesday, April 07, 2015

What did you expect?

With the disclaimer that there's no excuse for intentional rudeness and that this isn't directed to anyone I know, I'm confused by people who choose to present themselves in a non-conformist way (lots of tattoos and/or piercings, biker-ish, gangster-ish, unusual hair colors or styles, etc.) being surprised when people prejudge them based on their appearance. 

Wasn't it your intention for people to see you as a rebel/non-conformist/gangster, etc.? 

I'm not saying it's okay that anyone prejudge another person. I'm just saying that sometimes people are reacting to the image that is intentionally presented...by you.


Lorna said...

I know that what I'm going to rant about is not what you were getting at, andthis is NOT a witty comment: but I have a number of friends who are unconventional in the sense you describe, and I don't think that they are surprised when people notice them. They're surprised when people think that discussing their appearance is OK, and that making comparisons to objects, slimy or otherwise, are an essential part of the discussion.

It is especially wrong to me when people feel that the appearance of transgender people or crossdressers is an open invitation to be vicious. Do people really intend to be as heartless and insensitive as they often seem to be about people who are already dealing with issues more baffling than most people will ever even hear about, let alone experience?

If I dress for attention, and sometimes I do, I'm smart enough to know that some people will think I'm just doing it to be noticed, and most of the time they'll be right. I can deal with it because it's my choice, but some people aren't choosing to look extraordinary, and it breaks my heart to hear some of the things that get said. Sincerely, the Pollyannaest of all your friends. XX

Laurie said...

I agree. There's no excuse for being mean or rude to anyone. Some people look for excuses.